Previously on Neighbours: Dec 3 - Dec 7, 2007.

At this moment, I'm in a sense of denial. The month or so of the year sans Neighbours is fast approaching. There's just a week left. What's a questionably hetero boy to do? I guess it will be good to break the routine of weekend updating.
I was just perusing the archival bowels of the beast that is this blog, and I've realised that it is fast becoming a blog about how godforsaken Channel Ten is. Be it marketing, programming, content... I really have it in for them. And it shows. Over 75% of all posts have been about Channel Ten in some way.
Now that Idol has plummeted into forgotten territory, Neighbours is literally all I have to keep the balance between being critically judgemental and just being downright cruel. It seems cruelty may be on the agenda during the short Neighbours hiatus.

But we ain't there yet. Here's your recap:

Monday: Casserole Hands is no more. And from the chrysalis-like gloves emerges Susan reborn. Steph and Toadie take sides in the Darren-Libby fued. They do one of those cut back and forth conversations that annoy me heaps. Angus is a Pedophile and a Replacement Teacher, and he has another defining characteristic as well. He's a dickhead. Feeling betrayed by Rachel, he becomes a jerk to cope. In his temper, it didn't occur to him that Zeke and Rachel are not in the same year, but somehow share the same Literature class. Now let's play: Sum up Marco's Family In Three Words. They suck. That's two words? Okay, They REALLY suck. I win no prize. Noone does.

Tuesday: Toadie and Steph debate about Darren and Libby. Somehow, it all turns out to be about Steph's engagement ring she never wears. I was confused, but at least she wears it now. That and some terrible Bollywood costume top. Angus the Pedophile Jerk ups the ante in jerkiness. Marco is a gay prostitute.

Wednesday: Libby misses the shit out of Drew, and says so. Rachel offers the most vile analysis of Pride and Prejudice I've ever heard. Angus was impressed though; enough to settle things with her out of class. Speaking of vile, Zeke gets hit on by the class mole. Janae's jealous routine has run thinner than Bree in bizarro world. She goes to Oakey to look for Ned and Kirstin. Ned's car breaks down, and he gets so many extreme closeups, I thought I was going to be sick. Kirstin kisses him. I was sick. Miranda is the most worthless character in the whole show, even moreso than Lou. In this episode, she rode a mechanical bull and fell off.

Thursday: Ned and Kirstin win Best Couple at the Oakey reunion. Wow, that's not contrived. Janae is not happy, and she proves this fact by throwing Kirstin into some tables. Finally, something sort of remarkable but not really that remarkable has happened in this plot thread. Elle gets fired on her first day as a journo. Actually to be honest, the Elle-Riley story has gone from appallingly shit beginnings to being somewhat decent. To regain some ambition, Susan walks 10km up a fucking mountain with Miranda and Rebecca in tow. If three women walk in a forest and complain the whole time, does it make a sound? The answer is yes, unfortunately.

Friday: Two days have passed and Libby still misses the shit out of Drew. I'm going to nickname Ben 'The Devil's Child' from now on due to his striking resemblance to the spawn of Satan. I'm ecstatic to report Janae and Ned are considering a breakup. Karl applies for a medical job and gets the position. Karl is now Dr. Karl. Again. Finally. First priority: Bitch and moan about Susan walking up Mt. Random.

Wear black all next week. Neighbours is winding down on it's last breath for 2007. Find and help others in need, like me, who find the pain too much to cope with.