Actual Letters From Foxtel Magazine: December 2007

There are three types of Foxtel magazine letters. The weird, the suck-up and the very rare normal and informative letter. The weird type letters are common, although not as common as the suck-up letters. This month, I will show to you how to discern a weird letter from a suck-up letter.

A weird letter is written by someone who is clearly quite nuts. For an example of this, visit last's month's example written by the delightfully insane and bigoted Janice Kidson-McDonald.

A suck-up letter is written by someone who is trying very hard, with great risk of dignity, to win free Foxtel iQ for a year. It's that simple.
My pick for this month's letter written by Greg Thomas is a prime example:

Love the iQ

I must thank FOXTEL and the iQ... you have saved my marriage with the functionality of the little silver box! However, it must be time to shock Australia once again and broadcast shows in high-definition (HD). Can you advise us when we can expect to drop our jaws?

Overdoing just a little? Perhaps. Or perhaps not enough. He wasn't awarded Letter of the Month. No, he actually lost out to one of those rare, scarcely heard about normal and informative letters. Maybe that will teach all those little ass-kissing lackeys to refrain from injecting saccharine into their concise passages like steroids: You'll never get top prize that way, Mr Greg Thomas. Now don't you and your wife have some Foxtel iQ bills to pay?