Natalie is Idol, Idol is Done.

Natalie won. I lost the bet. Yeah yeah yeah, I know. I was an idiot to predict Matt Corby to win, but I honestly have a hard time tossing up if the Australian public are feeling smart or stupid at the current time. They were smart this time... but there will be other times. For me, the intellect of the public fluctuates in even, but unpredictable intervals. It's the ultimate 50/50 stake. It keeps things interesting.

Ever since the Casey Donovan Crash in 04, we've seen some none-to-awful results from Idol. Natalie was my favourite for a while, so it's not that I hated the result. I just hated the leadup. I mean, the entire leadup. As in, the whole season.

The season did have a few memorable characters (Marty 'Martjaya' Simpson being my pick for best contestant ever), but is there really anyone you want to see try and break into the industry? God, I hope not. The 2008 season of Idol can be interesting if it reignites stolen flames from some past semi-finalists that had potential, but I think we can all agree the bottom of the barrel has well and truly been scraped, and we the audience have the splinters to show for it.

This ends my EXPERT coverage of Australian Idol: Season 5, and I can breathe a big sigh of upheaval and rebirth. I thought the day would never come, and even when it did, I thought I'd miss it's place in my routine. This is definitely not the case; much like the death of an old, pungent relative that always hung around making things terrible at the family Christmas lunch, the passing of an Idol season is bittersweet but mostly oh so treacly sweet.

A couple of small tidbits before I officially pull the Idol plug:

• Ben Mackenzie was/is a drag queen. I know this for a fact.
• Dicko gives good comments, has bad opinions.
• Martjaya deserved to win.
• Marcia is a fuck.
  
• Montagia, Ancient Greek Goddess of Montage Clips is most pleased with Channel Ten's offerings to her.
• Did anyone notice Matt Corby had really appalling clothes?
• Days left until someone assassinates Jacob Butler: 203.
• Carl Risely looks like Darren Stevens from Bewitched.
• Daniel Mifsud could make a coat out of his body hair.
• Martjaya could make a matching scarf out of his eyebrows.
• Tarasai was so fake she wasn't even black.
• Breanna Carpenter and Matt Corby would have the most fucked up children ever born, complete with placenta-coloured stockings and man-skirt.
• Vote Martjaya. I don't care where, just vote Martjaya.